e. e. cunnings

A collection of gchat away messages.
(Poetry Pending)

Nov 28, 2009 11:27am

paulscheer:

A-Team meets Star Trek

Nov 26, 2009 12:56am
In addition to Happy Eid, you will see greetings of Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa and Feliz Navidad. -

snopes.com: Best Buy - Happy Eid al-Adha

…Mexican Christmas is its own religious holiday now.

Nov 26, 2009 12:31am

Happy Thanksgiving, yall.

Nov 25, 2009 11:21pm

Yikes, The Web. Yikes.

  1. Go to Google.com
  2. Try searching for the lyrics of the song “I Got My Mojo Workin’” by Muddy Waters.
  3. Get through eight letters and type “I Got My Mo”, to see what the MOST COMMONLY SEARCHED FOR suggestion that pops down is.
  4. Be disappointed in everyone, everywhere.

Nov 25, 2009 9:46pm

BBM convo between my mom and my brother from the other day

  • Mom: what are your plans
  • My brother: for what?
  • Mom: The rest of your life
  • (via Celeste)
  • http: //www.celesterstallone.com/post/257640903/bbm-convo-between-my-mom-and-my-brother-from-the-other
Nov 25, 2009 6:51pm
(My brother and I are talking about how he hates explaining “What’s so funny?” to our dad whenever something funny happens)
Also, this is how my brother talks.

(My brother and I are talking about how he hates explaining “What’s so funny?” to our dad whenever something funny happens)

Also, this is how my brother talks.

Nov 25, 2009 4:11pm

djfartz:

T-shirt I thought of.  I’m gonna be so fucking rich.

Nov 24, 2009 7:34pm

mynameisclaudia:

another fine video done by the folks over at the full ginsburg. though i’m technically still a part of the group, my moving to florida has certainly made it difficult for me to contribute. but seeing videos like this make me realize what a talented group we really are. and by “we” i mean the rest of the group that is still in nyc and actively still making videos and posting to the website.

presenting, “the belated role of tv news” (co-starring one of my favorite cable news crawls).

(youtube via the full ginsburg)

Aww, Claudizzle, we miss you.

Nov 23, 2009 9:02pm

The Elevator

Today I was leaving work on a run, walking into the elevator in my building and just as I was stepping in, I felt one of those primal reverberations where I just ‘sensed’ that there was an absurdly beautiful woman in the vicinity.  And sure enough, in the elevator was [REDACTED].  [I’m going to leave the name off, but think of the stereotypically hottest twenty-something woman on TV and it’s probably her.  Picked one?  Good, let’s continue.] Now walk in, Cunningham, enter this world.  OK.  Make eye contact, then rapid eye aversion, and a desperate attempt not to let on that you know who she is.  Face forward in the elevator, be cool, dammit.  Put down the box you’re carrying. No wait, don’t, it hints that you can’t carry it.  Pick it up again.  Oh man, why’d you do that?  That’s awkward.  Is every other dude in this elevator also sweating?  Yep, they’re definitely sweating.  Why are we like this?  We are grown-ass men.  She’s checking her blackberry, she doesn’t even know we’re here.  A stop on the THIRD FLOOR?  Dude, get on this elevator, you don’t know what you’re in store for.  Oh, you saw her.  Of course you did, she’s like a siren.  Be cool, guy.  No, you’re not being cool.  Alright, ground floor, everyone out.  Third-Floor-Dude, you go first.  Yeah, go.  No, I’m not going, you are.  No, just go first.  You’re making this uncomfortable.  Just.  Go.  Good.  Now I’ll follow and she’s behind me.  Alright.  Yep, you’re holding the door for me, that way you can glance back and make sure it’s who you thought it was.  Yes, it is.  Now back off, I’m holding the door for her. Fiddle with the box, still holding the door… Did you hear that?  She said ‘Thanks’.  Suck it, T.F.D.  Now I’ll look down and mumble back, “No prob.”  “No prob,” right?  It’s how young, cool people say, “No problem.”  Because it’s no problem for me to hold the door open for you.  Even though I was carrying this heavy box, though its not too heavy, because I’m so strong, and I still had enough strength to hold the door for you, so you wouldn’t have to look up from your blackberry.  Because I’m such a gentleman.  A muscular one. 
I’ll do things like this all the time when we’re dating, too.

Nov 23, 2009 7:39pm

Things I thought would have happened, but in reality, well, haven't actually happened yet

theoreticallyso:

1) Helicopter ownership by 18 years old, also universal health care

2) First published book by graduation

3) Giants winning back to back superbowls

4) Getting arrested while wandering around in my socks aimlessly in an apartment building at 6 am

5) Falling in love with the jet-set life of a traveling salesman in corporate America

6) Getting into a PhD program and not having to spend $50,000 on a Masters degree to escape the jet-set life of a traveling salesman in corporate America

7) Being able to cook pasta without always looking at the box

8) Reading Infinite Jest, Gravity’s Rainbow, or 2666

9)  Leveraging column in college newspaper to score with hot chicks—relatedly, convincing myself that it’s worth writing for some other motivation than the promise of money, fame, or sex

10) Going bald

I, too, believed in #1, #2, and #7.  I would have believed #9, if my Cav Daily columns weren’t so childish and emasculating.  Would also like to add:

11) Have a life similar to that of Paul Reiser in Mad About You

12) Be able to play the piano by ear after practicing for a solid month.

13) Have traveled since college.  At all.  Like, even to Connecticut or something.

Nov 21, 2009 10:56am
SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME.  Four other people have looked at it and can’t figure it out.  So far the building has been hypothesized to be a:

university
courthouse
museum
library
fancy bakery

If I descend into insanity, this is the root.
Cartoons from the Issue of November 23, 2009 : The New Yorker

SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME.  Four other people have looked at it and can’t figure it out.  So far the building has been hypothesized to be a:

  • university
  • courthouse
  • museum
  • library
  • fancy bakery

If I descend into insanity, this is the root.

Cartoons from the Issue of November 23, 2009 : The New Yorker

Nov 18, 2009 11:53am
Trip to Florida is imminent.
mynameisclaudia:

Look what I finally found!
I know Josh and Eric will appreciate this.

Trip to Florida is imminent.

mynameisclaudia:

Look what I finally found!

I know Josh and Eric will appreciate this.

Nov 16, 2009 6:21pm
Fine, fine.  I’ll protect your identity… “Lordan Jevy”.

Fine, fine.  I’ll protect your identity… “Lordan Jevy”.

Nov 15, 2009 10:23am
OK, iTunes, I’ve already given up:  I’m old and will never feel comfortable in my knowledge of today’s music ever again.
HOWEVER…  “Lady Antebellum”?  Is this a parody?  How can this person hold the top spot?

OK, iTunes, I’ve already given up:  I’m old and will never feel comfortable in my knowledge of today’s music ever again.

HOWEVER…  “Lady Antebellum”?  Is this a parody?  How can this person hold the top spot?

Nov 12, 2009 5:52am
rocky learned how to open doors. we put him in the garage last night and we heard something in the living room and saw rocky in there. he opened the door and walked into the house. then we put him back in the garage and he opened up the garage door. -

-my dad on the phone tonight, talking about his ridiculously smart labrador retriever (via mynameisclaudia)

Watch out, Mr. Castillo.  You could end up like this guy.  (Jump to :26, but you all were probably already thinking it, too)

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