Reblogged from purns
e. e. cunnings
A collection of gchat away messages.
(Poetry Pending)
(Poetry Pending)
Someone actually did ask for this, so I’m not just on a high horse (I mean, I am literally, not metaphorically; I’m riding a horse right now!). A lot of new people got put on Maude teams late last night and I thought I should share some things I’ve learned after being a…
Herman Cain’s Situation Room: May 1, 2012
5/1/12: President Herman Cain and Vice President Papa John receive an update on the mission against The Noid in the White House Situation Room.
Hey this is something I made with Adam Sacks and Eric Cunningham! Yes, it takes three people to make a picture this fantastic.
I love Hillary holding a pizza so much.
This photo might not be finished, but our brand new show is ready to go!
Come see an all new show from Onassis TONIGHT at 9:30pm at The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in NY. We’re up right after the wonderful Gramps! Hope you can make it out.
I’m really excited for tonight’s show, you guys. Join us!
ONASSIS is really happy you’re coming tonight. Let’s make some memories together
On the front page of the brand new “Live Funny or Die” politics site from FOD!
Onassis is doing this show on Wednesday as part of the New York Comedy Festival! We’re up with Murderfist, Pangea 3000, Stone Cold Fox, Two Fun Men and BriTANick!
We’re looking forward to it. This is gonna be a lot of fun.
Wednesday, November 9 at the UCB Theatre. 8:00pm!
Tickets are $5. Reservations here!
Man 1: Hey man, if you’re carrying a gun in here, I’m asking you: Please, don’t kill everyone in the building.
Man 2: (skeptical) …why? Not arguing, just trying to hear all sides.
Man 1: Well, there are a lot of attractive women around, who would be killed if you did. That’s my main point here, and probably the one that is most persuasive. Baby.
(Scenario: Never resolved.)
A coupla suits invite the protests to continue. But just for this one, randomly selected day.
Busseriously, there’s an election in like a week.
We’re really, really excited to be screening our sketch pilot at the Friars Club Film Festival next Friday! I’d be very happy if you came! You can get tickets here.
We’ll be screening with a new short from The Mantzoukous Brothers, “Night Home” starring TJ Miller and Thomas Middleditch and the premiere of a new Funny or Die Exclusive!
DO IT! It’s looking really really great, thanks to the multi-talented Benjamin Apple who is doing some round-the-clock editing.
That is the passage from my RESERVATION agreement the Budget agent quoted back to me when he told me the truck I was going to pick up in four hours did not exist. Nor does any truck of any size in the entire New York City area.
This is like the scene from Seinfeld where he complains about a car rental place taking reservations but not actually having the car, except I didn’t get a different car on the lot and it was not nearly as funny and also with me yelling “LIVID” into the phone and calmly saying “In all seriousness, I urge you to go fuck yourself” to strangers.
Also, I ended the phone call with a “good day.” and then kinda rolled my eyes at myself.
In 1984, the film Hornballs was released, changing the art of motion pictures for all time.
In one week, on September 15th at 6:30pm, the UCB Theatre will be hosting a special 17th Anniversary screening of this seminal film.
Please reserve your tickets now.
Come check this out! Or wait for it to be aired on FOX at like 1:30PM on a Saturday.
